I can't take it anymore!

God damn it! I really hate him! How could he do this to me?! He actually attacked me even though all that I did was to throw insults that were true!

He slapped me, and when I tried to defend myself with words he attacked me. He fucking attacked me! He grabbed me from behind and started punching my head multiple times, then he pulled my hair repeatedly as well before trying to slam me into the wall head first. When I managed to push him off and onto a couch on his back, he kicked me in the stomach multiple times before trying to punch my head again.

As for my resulting injuries, he left a bruise right beside my left eye, and damn it hurts when I prodded it. My tears are flowing like a river for reasons I can't comprehend, my nose is blocked and I can barely breath properly. My right middle finger is tender at the nail part, I probably got it in trying to defend myself.

My uniform sleeve is ripped, and the material is quite strong in actuality, so the fact that my sleeve actually ripped says quite a lot on what he could have done to me. That's not all, when he pulled at my sleeve, I was pulling at the opposite direction, trying to yank my arm out of his grip. Guess what? That actually caused the sleeve to bunch up at one area and bruise my arm. The bruise is on the underside of my upper arm and is going diagonally upwards, it also measures around 1-1.5 cm in width and around 7-8 cm in length.

I'm pissed off at him, pissed off at myself, and pissed off at my parents. Him because he wants me to respect him when he doesn't respect me, for attacking me even when he knows that my words were true. Myself for being unable to defend myself and for being unable to control my emotions. My parents for producing him in the first place and more specifically my father for taking his side even when he doesn't know just what is going on in his house.

This actually started with my 'dear' (Note the italics and aprostophy) father telling me off in front of that bastard about not respecting the bastard. His exact words were "I will not respect you if you don't learn to respect others. Just who do you think you are ... blah blah and blah." The bastard had the gall to throw the words back in my face and insult me by calling me a bitch the whole evening long. What do you expect me to do? Turn a blind eye to those insults? No bloody way. Of course I retaliated, but nothing much happened besides insults yesterday.

Today on the other hand, his one track mind decided, "Oh, lets take a field trip and show the house how strong we are by beating Charmaine up to teach her a lesson on how to respect those stronger than you!" Bull shit! The only thing that it proved was that he only knows how to 'solve' problems with his fist, and not with his mind. Now that I think of it, he punches like a kitten. Granted that I have a higher pain treshold than average, but I would still have felt the sting of a real punch. I felt more pressure than pain, which says something.

So if I'm not crying because of the pain, then why am I crying? Why am I screaming myself hoarse in order to just release something stuck in me?

Granted, I had a somewhat bad day since I had no choice to hand in my project work without completing it because Adeline once again failed to pass me the last items I need to complete it. God knows what's going on in that girl's head to keep making her forget that she has a duty to her friends after promising to do something for them. So far, she has broken quite a few of them. While I can't remember all of it, all I know is that I'm really disappointed in her.

Every time I decide to trust her, she turns around and throws it back in my face after carrying it around. Granted that it doesn't happen frequently, but the times she chose to do so really carried out serious consequences. Only God knows why I still continued to trust her after all those times, though I suspect that I'm already taking measures to ensure that this will never happen again. While I don't hate her and will try to be there when she needs me to, right now she has to re-earn my trust again.

Anyway, back to the subject. I called another friend of mine a few times but he didn't answer my call. Then I sent an sms practically begging him to please just answer his phone because I needed to speak to him, at that point I was going hysterical. Oh joy, hysterics are what I hate most, and yet there was nothing to stop me from going into it. When he called me back after finding his phone under the drawer (he places his phone on silent mode all the time, that idiot), the only thing holding me back broke and I went straight to hysterics. While I did try to control myself, it was dismaying enough that I would sink so low as to need comfort from another.

I really did annoy him, but what could I do? All my other friends were preoccupied, and I couldn't trust anyone else. Either way, I really can't keep depending on him anymore. I'm really tired of depending on him for help emotionally, so I guess that it's time to wear another mask. I'm sure that it'll be easy enough for me, but facades are terribly hard to pull of once you've placed them to rest. The stupid idiot broke it, and for that he'll pay. I guess annoying him is good enough for payback, but play time is over, and I will not make the same mistake twice.