I looked around me,
And I noticed something awfully off,
They each have their personal bonds,
And yet I'm always hovering,
Flitting from one group to another,
Never fitting in,
Never belonging.
I take another look around,
Before turning away from the crowd,
Looking for a place to call my own,
Looking for that special friend whom I have not found,
As I silently walk away from them.
Tears of despair, frustration and hurt leaked,
From the corners of my eyes in steady silent streams,
As I sat away from the others,
Trying my best not to look at their interactions,
Yet my eyes betray me,
As my heart cracks all the more at the sight of them.
Once in a while,
One of you will look up from your conversations,
To look for me,
Just to check if I'm there,
And yet you couldn't care less even if I'm not there.
Lost and wandering aimlessly,
I went to my secret world,
Drowning myself in a pool of words,
Just to escape the pain of my reality,
But deep inside,
I know that I'm just running away,
Even just for a short time.
I want to run away again,
Just as I did once before,
But the chains and shackles held me in place,
Harsh, cold, unyielding and unrelenting,
I can do nothing,
But sink to my knees and stare at nothing in particular,
Waiting for the last grain of sand to fall,
Before I take spread my wings,
And fly away again.
As each day passes by,
I see the same things over and over again,
I wish I could be numb to the pain,
But it doesn't stop me from hoping in silent desperation,
That I'll finally find that one person,
Who'll take my hand and accompany me along.
I am nothing but an empty shell,
Devoid of life,
Merely living a deception,
As I act out the role expected of me,
Day to day without fail.
I saw the same scene again today,
As I wore my mask,
And put on another show,
For the entire world to see.
Am I really that good of an actress?
Or did I get away with this just because you didn't care enough to look carefully?
I might never know the answer to this question,
But I wonder if I were to take away your secret dream,
Will you finally look at me?
Maybe there'll come a day,
When I can finally remove my mask,
And take a bow to the applause of my spectators,
But until then,
I will continue to act out my role,
As I wait for the curtain to finally close.
