Would You Listen?

Why is it that I find myself crying more and more these days?

Do you even know how much your words hurt me at times,

Even when you don't mean them to?

You may think that I'm being too sensitive,

But I really don't know what else to do.

I'm trying,

I really am,

But you just don't know how much you really affect me.

I'm so tired of crying,

I don't even know why I'm holding on anymore.

I'm under so much stress,

I can't eat,

I can't sleep,

I can only curl up and cry.

I just need you to hold me,

And to tell me that everything will be fine,

Like you used to,

But you don't even do that anymore.

Look at me,

And tell me who do you see,

Because all I see now,

Is a fading picture,

Of who I used to be.

I don't know how long I can hold on anymore,

I need a break,

I need reassurance.

I need someone to be strong for me once in a while,

So that I can take a break from being strong too.

I'm so tired,

I don't know if I can do this anymore.

I can't keep this up any longer,

I'm breaking under the pressure,

I'm finally breaking after all these years.

This is truly laughable,

Who would have thought that I would be the first to break,

After all the times I've proven myself too strong to be broken.

I guess,

That in the end it was all a matter of time,

When my strength becomes a weakness,

And drives me into loneliness,

Where I'll finally begin to fall apart.

Please,

Make it stop,

Take my pain away,

Make me forget,

I just want to sleep.

I haven't truly slept in ages you know?

I need my rest too,

Someone please make it happen,

I can't stand this anymore.

Is there anyone out there,

Who'll hear my screams,

Who'll see my tears,

Who'll set me free,

From this cage that I've placed myself in?

But honestly,

Who on earth will do that anyway?

I'm suffering in silence now,

Putting on a mask everyday,

Pretending that everything is as fine as it should be,

Even when I'm not fine.

I'm suffering in silence now,

Because I can't tell anyone.

Who would listen anyway,

They'll never believe me,

Because I'm too strong to fall like.

No one would listen,

No matter how much I try to tell them,

No one would,

So I can only keep my pain to myself,

Even as it consumes me.

Can You See?

Can you see me now,

The state at which I'm in,

Where despair and sadness cloaks me,

Where I can no longer pretend to smile?

I'm so tired,

So tired of putting up a front,

Pretending to be strong,

Even when I'm at my weakest.

I just need you to hold me,

To reassure me,

To tell me that everything is alright,

To make me feel safe.

But I can't tell you all of that,

Because I'm supposed to be strong,

I'm supposed to stand tall,

Even when I feel alone inside.

Listen closely for once,

Hear the emotions in my voice,

Find the hidden meanings in my words,

Look at me beyond my masks and facades.

Please, just this once,

I beg of you,

To see me for who I am,

Instead of who I show myself to be.

I'm not as strong as you think I am,

I cry like any other girls do,

I can feel lonely at times,

I have a heart and emotions too.

Just this once,

Look at me closely,

And tell me what you see,

Because I suspect you see only a lie.

Who Are You?

You're honestly a pathetic mess,

Who the hell are you,

And what have you done to yourself,

To the point that you're so easily hurt?!

Screw all this,

It took years to build up those walls,

With the purpose of protecting yourself,

But it took only days to tear them down.

Look at yourself now,

Look at what you've become,

Look at those wasted tears,

Look at that cracked and wounded heart!

Where are your shields,

Where are your blades,

Where are your masks,

And where are your lines?

Who are you now?

What are you trying to do to yourself?

Stop this nonsense at once,

Before you destroy yourself.

Wake up from your dreams,

See all that is around you,

Take control of yourself once again,

And I'll be here waiting for you.

Promises

Go on,

Make another promise again,

Convince me on how much you mean to keep it,

Because I don't believe that you can.

Empty,

All of them are empty,

You've made countless others,

But none you have kept.

I'm sick and tired of this disappointment,

That only you can bring me,

But even when I know how foolish I am,

I still hold on.

I still hold on to that hope,

That you will one day keep them,

I still hold on,

Because I want to believe.

So tell me,

Will you disappoint me again,

By making yet another empty promise,

Or will you finally man up and fulfill it?

I look forward to the day,

When I finally find my answer,

But a part of me shies back,

Because I'm afraid of what I shall find then.

Tonight

I want to see the stars tonight,

But all I see are clouds,

I want to smile happily tonight,

But I can only frown.

The moon shines alone in the sky,

And I wonder if she feels as lonely,

As desolate,

As I feel right now.

You promised me,

But all you're doing,

Is proving me wrong,

And betraying my trust.

Don't make promises that you can't keep,

Don't give me what you don't have,

Don't raise my hopes up,

Only to dash it down into the ground.

Don't lead me on like this,

To believe,

To hope,

In something that will never happen.

Lies are merely lies,

And there's nothing that you can do,

That will turn them into the truth,

Because you can't.

Don't bring my hopes up anymore,

Because I don't want to be disappointed,

Don't tell me that you love me,

Because it rings hollowly in my ears.

What More Can I Do?

I'm sick and tired of waiting,

Because that's the only thing I can do,

Without letting go of my pride,

And seeming weak in front of you.

I'm sick and tired of hurting,

Because that's the only thing I can do,

When you hurt me with your insensitivity,

Not knowing the effect you have on me.

I'm sick and tired of trying,

Because that's the only thing I can do,

To keep your eyes on me,

To prevent your heart from straying.

I'm sick and tired of crying,

Because that's the only thing I can do,

When there's nothing else I can say,

To make the pain go away.

Will you continue making me wait,

Or will you leave me here to pine for you?

Will you come back to me,

Or should I take my leave first?

Waiting is difficult,

Hurting is painful,

Trying is despairing,

And crying is pitiful.

But that is all that I can do,

Until you come back to me.

Daze

Don't ever ignore me,

Because that will hurt me,

More than being angry at me ever will.

Don't lie to me,

Because that will hurt me,

More than telling me the truth ever will.

Don't betray me,

Because that will break me,

And make me cry.

A simple verse,

Another tear,

A silent sob.

I wonder if you know,

What goes on in my mind,

If you even cared to wonder.

Give it a rest,

You're hurting me,

Whether or not you know it.

Stop doing this to me,

Leave me alone,

For I can stand no more.

I write this in a stupor,

Take this as you wish,

Because I will not explain myself.